The Cat, The Snake and The Pink Toad
by FloatingWithoutPurpose
Summary: Challenge fic. Had to be longer than 300 words. The main characters had to be Snape and McGonagall and they had to fight. Must include the line "Minerva, what's the matter, cat got your tongue?" and no slash.


Snape strode angrily into the staff room, his cloak billowing out behind him. He was seriously pissed.

"Your damn Gryffindors have been at it _again_. Those Weasley Twins are a menace!" Snape snapped angrily at McGonagall.

"What have they done this time?" She asked resignedly.

He pulled her into the corner of the staffroom well away from Umbridge's nosy ears.

"I nearly got hit with one of their little pranks intended for Umbridge. Please tell them to be more careful in future." Snape hissed into her ear before smirking. "They have detention with you tonight; give them some good tips will you?"

Minerva allowed herself a small smile and laughed softly. "Whoever thought that you would ever help the Weasley Twins, Severus? Even indirectly, whatever is the world coming to?"

"I'm only helping them because when they get themselves expelled my Snakes will have an even better chance of winning the Quidditch Cup if you don't have a pair of human Bludgers in your team."

"You wish. Anyway I'll give them some," she paused thinking "_discreet_ advice. If they can drive _her_ out of here the happier I'll be." She said venomously.

"You really don't like her do you?" Snape asked her surprised at her venomous reply. Minerva's response was a withering glare that made Snape almost want to cringe. Almost. He had a reputation to uphold after all.

Their conversation was interrupted by that annoying little cough of Umbridge's.

"_What?" _Both teachers snarled as they rounded on her ferociously. The other staff looked at them shocked but gave them thumbs up behind Umbridge's back.

"If you don't mind this is a _private_ conversation." Snape growled at the Pink Toad. Umbridge winced at his tone but soon put a false smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, Severus but I just needed to inform Minerva that one of her students is in detention with me again. That Harry Potter has a dreadful temper and is a compulsive liar. He will have to be taught a lesson." Umbridge simpered before sauntering off.

"That woman is such a complete waste of oxygen." Minerva growled angrily her hands balled into fists.

"Damn her" Snape muttered. He liked being the only one who could get under Minerva's skin. At least with him and Minerva the bickering was just friendly and not malicious as with Dolores. "Don't do anything you will regret Minerva, she is just waiting for an opportunity to get you out of here. We need you, both the staff and the students." He said seriously. "Try not to let her get to you. I intend to collect on our bet but how can I if you aren't here?" His words had the desired effect and her head whipped back round to his.

"You think that your team is going to win the Cup?" She said incredulously. "Not a chance. With Potter on our team we can't lose."

"As I recall you were beaten in his first year, it was called off in his second year. Barely won it third, it wasn't on last year and you expect he can win this year with Umbridge around? He will probably be in detention. She _is_ spiteful enough to do that to get back at you, him and Dumbledore." He said silkily. Minerva opened her mouth to retort but stopped as she realised what he said was correct.

"Minerva, what's the matter, cat got your tongue?" Snape asked clearly enjoying the effect of his words as she glared at him.

"We will win. I will just make sure Potter keeps his head down." She said determinedly. "If refuse to let that, that excuse for a witch make Potter's life hell just because he tells the truth." She snarled.

"Our usual bet then?"

"Of course, I am looking forward to taking your money off you again." Minerva smirked.

"If hope is all you have then why should I take that away from you?" he said with a smirk.

"I don't need hope; I _know_ that my team will win."

"They won't if those Weasley Twins don't me more careful where they set off their pranks" Snape growled. "Make sure they stay far, _far_ away from my dungeons in future Minerva."

"Why should I? I could do with a laugh, they a few and far between this year. The Potions Master floating in a swamp would be highly amusing." Minerva smirked before twirling on her heel and leaving the Staffroom nearly flattening Umbridge on her way out. Now to find those Twins…


End file.
